dainty empress.☘︎ ݁˖

february, 10. 7.45 am. bekasi, rasanya rada cumen.

start here. i already reached my monthly goals in just less than one week. you need a balance between hard work and being in the flow, creative one. take the compound interest of your work. this is my 3rd times i attend to lecture of ustadzuna nudzul. Allah make me change through him.

learned by doing, not by theory. kamu punya mimpi, kamu punya orang (yang kamu kenal, tapi bukan keluarga). kalau kamu merasa, saat dengan orang tersebut, kamu itu berat dan selalu harus mengalah dan berkompromi, artinya jangan mimpi/tujuan kamu yang diganti, tapi ganti orang/lingkungannya. jika kamu tidak bisa berjualan, it's a skill issue. either a product, service, or yourself.

i read a good book by afutami and she cited some of Alain de Botton phrase, “Anyone who isn't embarrassed of who they were last year probably isn't learning enough.”

I feel first hand embarassment for almost all my 2024 moment. I can't keep myself on track of what identity i shaped before. I broke up with my long-time partner. I was failed to stick with the goal I had for myself. I cut off some people and... I lack of clarity for what I did. I keep counting what lacks in me, to the point where I pity myself in that season of life...

and now, i have the freedom. what was i fight for?

assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh. selamat pagi/siang/sore/malam kak aldi, whenever this email find its way to you. semoga dimanapun kak aldi berada, selalu dalam lindungan Allah. aamiin ya rabbal alaamiin.

halo kak aldi, aku eka putri alumni bio'18, kayanya aku pernah ya belajar matkul keantum & kak aldi jadi asistennya, sama adis juga sepertinya (correct me if i'm wrong). aku dapat alamat surel kak aldi dari linkedin&rekomendasi di emailku, tapi aku gatau yang masih aktif yang mana btw.

i know it's a leap of faith of myself to ask you something (degdegan bgt ngetik ini yaAllah). tanpa mengurangi rasa hormat, apakah kak aldi ada keinginan & kapasitas diri untuk memulai proses perkenalan (taaruf) dengan aku? in my opinion, you're naturally-gifted person, likeable & humble. aaand certainly you have a distinguished sense of personal style yang kak aldi banget gitu. semoga bener yaa perkiraanku. aku juga punya ketertarikan dan visi yang mungkin kita bisa beriringan berjalan bersama, belajar bersama, berproses bersama, dan tentu dengan fitrah & kemampuan di bidangnya masing-masing.

for my (not-so) brief background: anak pertama, bukan sandwich generation (kayanya penting dicantumkan wkwkwk), ortu lengkap (ayah karyawan swasta di toyota, mama ibu rumah tangga slash punya usaha donat slash guru mengaji). aku sendiri sbnrnya lagi ngerintis usaha bakery (2024-2025 ini, mau ngembangin lebih usaha mama) setelah gagal memulai studio foto (lulus kuliah 2022, tidak cocok ternyata sm partnernya) dan usaha laundry (2023 jan-des, evaluasinya blm siap mental untuk apa2 sendiri ternyata. tp basic manajemennya udah ada, grgr jg aku kena influence keluarga mentor-ku yg jarang sholat. mending aku lepas drpd gaberkah juga). aku selektif bgt milih pasangan, partner bisnis, mentor. trauma tipis2 up & down ya pasti sih ada tapi hidup harus ttp berjalan yaa. dibilang perintis, iya karena aku yg pertama kali memilih untuk menjadi pembelajar & memutuskan wirausaha di keluarga. tapi dibilang pewaris juga iya, karena ortuku cuma punya 2 anak, aku sm adik perempuanku. jadi bener2 dipersiapkan dari sekarang semuanya.

2024 satu tahun penuh itu aku bener2 cari komunitas yang baik dan tenang, sekaligus perbaiki diri & akhlak, perdalam ilmu agama islam dan sunnah. alhamdulillah kenal sama komunitas salaf dgn ustadz rujukanku ust. muhammad nuzul dzikri, you can check it out on youtube. tim beliau jg keren banget deliver semua pesan-pesan ustadzuna.

yg dihighlight adalah aku mencari (dan membutuhkan) pasangan yang history&keturunan keluarganya jelas (tidak ada cacat nasab seperti anak hasil hubungan di luar pernikahan tercatat), mengerti & paham penempatan ilmu & agama, mempunyai penghasilan halal&provider sesuai kemampuan, paham peran masing-masing, tidak merokok, tidak minum beralkohol, tidak judi online maupun pengguna jasa prostitusi.

mungkin di 2025 ini kak aldi juga sudah punya calon (mungkin keluarga kak aldi memegang erat adat & marga, karena keluarga kami sendiri pun 100% javanese), atau belum ada kapasitas diri&ingin fokus, atau mungkin tidak tertarik dengan apa yg aku sampaikan, tolong kabarkan melalui email ini dengan singkat tidak apa-apa ya kak, untuk saling menghargai kesempatan & waktu luang yang telah disisihkan. jika mungkin ada kelanjutannya, aku bisa kasih kontak whatsapp ayahku untuk komunikasi lebih lanjutnya.

i pray that you & your family have unlimited blessing in all of your future endeavor, kak aldi. aamiin ya rabbal alaamiin.

loose-fitting di bagian atas, waist&hip kebentuk kaya bodycon→ spaghetti-straps, pakaikan gold waist chain jarang2 bgt dieksplor o/ kaum hawa kaan. krn ada friction dari dress, lebih baik chainnya lebih kokoh sih 4-5 mm ideal. no pendant, biar ga too much. kalau langsung kena kulit (kaya di ilustrasi), bisa pakai chain yang tipis2+pendants lucukk gemes2 tapi sesuaikan dengan konsekuensi kalau ada turbulensi hebat(¿) yhh. menurutku 18K buat pemakaian di luar (kamar) apalagi jd asesoris u. dress, udah oke yah. tapi kalau untuk koleksi di kamar 6-8K aja, kalau rusak tipis2 (efek samping) jdnya gaterlalu kepikiran. gantinya jg di bawah 5 jt (kisaran). buat kulit JANGAN pakai asesoris sekelas shein/shopee. iyaa bagus, murah, pilihannya lucu2 tapi habis itu cepet oksidasi+jelek dilihatnya 1-2 pemakaian langsung mubazir kan, mending invest sedikit mahal di awal gapapa kalau ada uangnya

yang masc udah paten pakai miami cuban bracelet 6-7 mm, batas akhir 8 mm. di atas itu keitung norak sih kalau bukan buat stage performance wkwkwk. di islam gaboleh pakai emas siih cowonya, jadi ganti silver .925 or alloy apa la aku kurang paham silver dan campuran bukan emas →tapi sering2 dipolish kali ya biar ga kusam

What or who would you be without the stories of being a “30 year old “lost” person who has a list of jobs worked? Let the stories go and just see that life is always just happening and you are life- not the attached stories you have added on. Let them go. The world is not “anywhere now” that’s just another story. The world does what it does as the rise and fall of energy. Everything must be this way and this way is always just as it is… when action or non action is needed for shifts to occur it will happen or not on it’s own accord. ❤

Let me tell you something that took me 27 years to find out.. im 27 now aha. You have a very high level of self-awareness Damien. I also didn't know either. Look into it. It is not a skill or ability that can be easily detected in school or by other people- usually because they are less self-aware themselves. You will only notice when you talk to someone like yourself. I would say you are in the top 5-10% of population. You won't be the funniest most popular guy in the room.

But, the most wise, you see things. I had a lot of conversations with people where it is like trying to make sense of well, nonsense. People are just on another frequency, but we are all “lost”. My high-achieving friend makes 6 figs at 25 in aus and she has no time to ask questions, doesn't feel alive. We all got problems. But, you probably have more savings and dont have 80k debt. So, be frugal! Yeah the world is always valuing the wrong things, what's knew, and self-awareness and your introspection, authenticity is not one of them. Because, how can you sell a self-aware person anything? Bingo. you can't. Ahh the worst jobs for society seem to make the most money...

but you seem like the kind of real person people like (how i long for a friend with high eq or self awareness in this world lol..). Influencers, yeah always seem to be the types that seek the spotlight, want fame, etc. Push products, money grabs. Good news: Half the world is loud extroverted and the other half is looking at those people sideways, we just make it less obvious. A lot of successful types are not extraverted. Seems like you have a lot of things ahead of you- good character, good-looking, high eq, high self-awareness, have had employment for a decade. Many people are unemployed or haven't fully begun their life even by 30. We are comparing to the few who had a goal to climb a certain mountain and raced to the top before even asking themselves if its the mountain they wanted to be climbing...its best to climb the right mountain slowly, than the wrong one fast. Trust me, my father was like you, had a certain real introspective way of talking, that's why i understand the world with high eq. Need more parents with that.

Maybe you think the different jobs “got you nowhere”, “just playing the game” but we all need to play for a bit to know we want to get out. As for partner/family, it is not a race. People swipe 30 profiles a day on dating apps, but we are not going to marry 30 people. It is just one. It is simple concept, but not easy. Let me tell you the reality, that as a man you have more time. That is why your sister is married with a baby. I'm a woman, and well its harder over age 30 for us. Men could marry in mid or late 30s and still be a dad. There are always a group of women looking for marriage 30+ who are rushing against the clock so to speak, really want a nice man. Dont rush it. But dont slack off. The right partner is the life hack they never told us about. Personally, i was 24 when pandemic finished and finished my degree online....yeah $$ down the drain. Then, had to leave Australia for my boyfriend's grad job in a country where i didn't speak the language (will be 6yrs here not much career happening for me) and i've been, lets say semi-unemployed for 3 years. At least you have some work experiences. But things happen for us to develop insight in a period of seperation from our usual environment. Healthy gamer has a video about feeling lost explains the study so well. All of this happened so I could reflect and not waste my life in the race i was in. Now I might get a cottage and i be a housewife...yeah not my original plan lol. Who me? Neve thought it. Life changes. in ways you never anticipate. I lost money from these years, but we have more together, getting married soon. I'm way wiser and i see the world differently. I'm not the same person. neither are you. The connection from a partner, best-friend comes with time. Then, they will be there everyday. You should research careers, university courses, job boards, consider new possibilities. Apply, you can always cancel it. Who cares. Never too old. Just have a plan, a lot is changing with AI sigh

In the last 5-8 weeks I changed so many parts of my life: lost 10-13kg, have a skincare routine, going to gym, adopted Buddhism, rewriting my vision and goal board. Nothing about me is the same. ITs weird, but buddhism says identity is fluid, never stagnant. only other peoples ideas of you in their heads, from their last memory of you...i'm not the same person and i feel like i owe a sort of consistency to the people around me for who i used to be before moving abroad. But i don't recognise that person. We don't owe anyone consistency from who we were yesterday to people around us. This is my life, it will be so uncomfortable more so to others than to me, when i lose 40kg especially since i used to be the chubby girl or people have an idea of me, I was never the skinny friend or the fit girl... I thought i would be saving for a house in the burbs in melbourne and now im looking for a 100k house in the f**ing forest in freezing winter wasteland :) Sweden by ourselves. Give yourself a period of separation from the old environment for 6 months, see who you are.

see who you are without all the momentum from who you used to be. Who calls you? Meditation for months will help you find the answer about university courses or course of action. Every morning 15-30 minutes. Trust me, dont skip it. I will say, changing my appearance has changed my life. I changed so many facets, i dont even look the same...its surreal. like this was available to me before and i didnt know? never saw my face without full layer of fat, and im actually kind of attractive. who, me? damn. hard work. Learn about haircare-opalex. Skin-niacinamide, hallulyronic acid, vitamin c, spf everyday. I went to skin therapist, got some bio peels (never was this “type of person” thought it was for pretty girls only. Now Fitness, style. It will launch you into the next 6-12 months and you wont recognise yourself. It will match your new attitude.

it's always the sweet feminine bisexual oldest daughter champion girlboss who-seems-to-have-it-all woman that got cheated on from some sideline fragile leo who want to ‘make a name for herself’. bukannya aku ngebela orang nonmuslim ya, urusan infidelity mah terlepas dari apa agamanya.

brooooo you wasting her time so MUCH and you fumbled the BIG TREASURE!! detik-detik sblm nikah yaaa gmn sih ya. lo gatau apa betapa pusing-cape-sibuknya punya bisnis begitu?

you're not that cool either. i am WATCHing your downfall or not. either way you will pay the price. ....and you're a muslim? ittaqillah!!!

side note from my experience: i found allah while you're not even find yourself. hehehehe. my lecturer said “orang yang mengikuti hawa nafsu itu orang yang paling bala hidupnya, ahlu bala = orang yang ditimpa kehinaan dan musibah terus menerus.”

ibarat ngumpulin batu kaya thanos, udah lengkap sih influencer(s) and the big name of wlw world sudah ancur semua. nothing to seek the inspiration anymore. gotta move on guys. see ya

Feelings change and woman is all about feelings.

i hate taylor swift, impulsive shopping, hysterical scream because of something exciting/obsessive, and fireworks. i really hate all of them. what is the underlying theme of my hatred?

Analyzing Your Aversions: A Possible Theme Based on your dislikes, it seems like you might have an aversion to intense emotions or overwhelming stimuli.