dainty empress.☘︎ ݁˖

You will only have a few paths that will bring out your full force. Those paths will be unique to you. If you're courageous enough to go all-in with all your energy in the right path, you'll be able to do something that will look impossible for everyone else. And was only meant to be achieved by you – and that my-friend is your purpose of life.

YouTube: watch?v=uxoCnxlxpIk

the most strangest—but pleasant dream about me in such age. maybe we called it lucid dreaming, since I can control how the narrative goes.

anyway, I was introduced to the other dimension if I can say. from what I remembered, I was in my garden, messaging my cousin, resti, how she should manage her 20s, earlier 20s knowing that kita cuma beda 2 tahun haha. and then the sprinkler watering the garden's plants. when I type something for her, I popped into another life. I was someone's girlfriend—slash future's wife of someone's son slash being a kid to my royal dad.

I saw a man cook for us, it feels like dia itu kakakku. katanya, aku punya 2 kakak cowo dan 1 kakak cewe, lalu aku anak ke-4 (terakhirnya). it's s bit weird but it's the crowd welcoming me. katanya, ayahku itu sedang bertugas di kelautan, tapi bisa memantau kami semua dari cctv yang ada kemanapun kita pergi. anyway, ternyata lagi ada pesta di rumahku yang besar, caterer-nya juga sibuk kesana kemari. 2 menantu perempuan ayahku (istri kakak-kakakku) mengajakku makan bareng di salah satu meja.

they said, they missed me. I mean? I'm just spawning to this dimension and people already respected me and missed me alot they said. I eat good food, including chicken katsu, rice and beef curry I think?

lalu, aku diajak berjalan-jalan ke luar setelah makan siang, suasana cukup terik saat itu. this house probably a mansion that have different crowds in different rooms. lalu, aku duduk di sofa panjang berwarna merah, dan menikmati lingkungan. dari kejauhan, ada seorang wanita yang terlihat obsessed, akrab dan ngintilin aku, lalu datang mendekatiku. she whispered something, kinda like “meet your potential husband” and I kinda being hysterical.

he's fine with facial hair, typical wajah Indonesia Jawa dengan rambut sedikit curly. dia menyambutku penuh penghormatan dan really, sangat menunggu kehadiran aku sepertinya. aku tidak tahu aku habis pergi darimana, kayanya semua orang menantiku dan sangat senang aku disini. maybe I'm in different stage of heaven and people are meant to be under my rule.

disana, aku memakai gaun berwarna merah i think? cleavage aku cukup terekspos dan aku memakai selendang dengan fabric yang sama. my bestie (yang tadi obsessed), bilang “enjoy your fiancée.”

like hah? aku kaget, histeris dan senang. he grabbed my waist dan gendong aku dong!! lalu dia jalan jalan untuk eksplor mansion ini, lalu ada teknologi device-less gadget and already in a touch and seamless projector in the air such like hologram.

kata bestie-ku, dia itu teman smpku dan anak 7.8. eh bener doong, dia ada foto di albumnya, dia pakai pakaian Pramuka dan DISAMPINGNYA ADA ARYA KWKWKWKWK. Dia itu classmate-nya Arya ternyata. and then we're kissing. in a crowded room. he said that he missed me a lot. a passionate kiss, sudah berhasil membuatku mengeluarkan suara lenguhan yang rendah. membuatnya semakin menggebu bersamaku.

the crowd is okay with us, mean that kayanya ini di surga beneran deh... aku benar-benar jadi main character-nya. lalu dia mendapat telepon dari kakakku nomor 1, dia disuruh untuk nyetirin beliau untuk jalan-jalan ke pantai. diskusinya cukup panjang, sampai-sampai dia buka Google maps dan memberitahuku sekaligus rute yang disepakati bersama untuk perjalanannya nanti.

lalu, dia melepasku dan membantuku berdiri dengan tegak. “my love, apakah kamu mau untuk ikut kali ini? naik mobil ioniq tapi...” aku geleng-geleng. aku ingin berkeliling dan membuat familiar lingkungan ini kembali. dia menyetujuiku untuk memberiku waktu eksplor di mansion dan pulau ini—basically. lalu, aku pergi dengan bestieku.

jalanan cukup ramai, and based on my eyesight, I can scan the place and people with only my eyes. I think I can scan them because they're strange and not a part of my family-owned property and family-related crowd. karena aku melihat fiance, bestie, keluargaku, itu tanpa ada rectangular shape warna merah-kuning-hijau di penglihatanku. lalu, aku berjalan-jalan dan melihat ada satu perempuan. ia memakai topi snapback, jorts, dan rambutnya panjang mirip Mariah Carey.

ternyata, dia mendatangiku dan bilang tertarik sama aku. i guess she's a lesbian. and fyi, dia itu tidak punya rectangular shape di wajah dia, tapi aku tidak kenal dia siapa. soalnya, kalau tidak terpindai, antara dia kenalan keluargaku, atau dia... orang asing. beneran asing seperti... homeless yang baru pindah portal realita dan belum terdaftar jadi resident disini.

aku mengiyakan ajakannya untuk berjalan-jalan and I have the tendency to make out with her, but I need somewhere shaded so that my dad cannot see it. lalu kita duduklah di bawah pohon. oh ya, ada karyawan yang bekerja di beach club menawarkan kita untuk masuk ke dalam. banyak rectangle yang ada di penglihatanku. rata-rata rating tempatnya 4,4+. anyway, si cewe ini bilang dia tidak afford untuk masuk ke dalam.

it means that she's broke and I fly away faster from her hahahahaha. the end.

study Machiavelli to recognize machiavellianism, and destroy those who promote dark triad personality traits – especially under the guise of “the ends justify the means.” seek and destroy the narcissistic, manipulative, remorseless, and callous traits within yourself and you will find the the strongest and most trustworthy friendships. the cutthroat nature of playing thrones is just luck – those “at the top” are just the ones who kept flipping heads on the coin, while others were crushed under the pyramid.

spot on.

They must win even if that means manipulation, screaming, fighting or maligning. Once they have brought the scales in perfect balance again, they will portray their immaculate side and a perfect smile as if nothing ever happened. Most other signs would be perhaps going through the trauma of a stormy night that went by, but not a Libra. For them order is restored and chaos is over.

I am so sorrryyyyyyy past people ugh gimana ya tidak mau membenarkan ini because of shirk but uhhhh? I am sorry for every collateral damages I made. lanjut

They can emotionally detach themselves very quickly. They won’t have qualms about ending a relationship that has stopped serving their purpose and will move into the next one without carrying the baggage from the previous one. This can be painful for the person at the receiving end. If it was a love relationship, perhaps the person is still holding on with hope, waiting for them to come back. But once the mind is made up, a true Libra won’t go back. Especially when they have found something more exciting, shiny, and glitzier.

sorrryyyyy sir and madam... I acknowledge my superficial tendencies and uuuh

masukkan ke perjanjian pranikah: jika kamu jajan dengan sepengatahuan aku atau tidak, sebelum berhubungan, aku akan meminta kejujuran kamu dan medical checkup. jika ada STD light-mild, tunda berhubungan. jika ada STD heavy-uncurable, aku minta cerai.

one thing yang aku baru sadari: people that has Allah's wrath on them, they are taking pride on how life's struggle doing on them, how sick are they (mentally/physically). basically, they are all glorifying the difficulties of life, not stacking achievements/useful skills that really make impactful influence in society. just my 2 cents.

terms & conditions about marriage: first in 31 august, 2024. next: today. september, 10. sample questions for a prospective spouse!!

1) what are your short and long-term goals and aspirations in life? 2) how do you envision a fulfilling and happy relationship? 3) what are some of the values and principles that guide your life? 4) can you tell me about a significant life experience— that has shaped who you are today? 5) how you handle conflict, and how you communicate in relationship? 6) what are some of the qualities or characteristics you value in a partner? 7) how do you maintain a work-life balance and prioritize your personal well-being? 8) what role does family play in your life, and what kind of relationship do you hope to have with your future in-laws? 9) what are your thoughts on personal growth and self-improvement? 10) how do you envision supporting each other's dreams and ambitions within a partnership?

11) what are your core beliefs and values? 12) what are your professional plans over the next 5-10 years? 13) what kind of person are you with money? spender or saver? 14) how importrant is a legacy to you? 15) how do you feel about the responsibility of being a model man for your kids and others? 16) how is your temperament? do you know it? how do you think it will/does influence you? 17) what is your attachment style? 18) how is communication done when you are unsatisfied/unhappy? 19) what would you change in your life and character? 20) how is your relationship with your family/siblings and how important is it to you?

21) how would your relationship with your parents benefit and affect our relationship? 22) what does your ideal family look like? what is your vision of marriage? what are your marital fantasies? 23) who inspires you? khadijah. 24) what is your financial expectation of your wife? 25) name three things you'd like to have in common with your partner? 26) what are your bad habits, if you have any? suka mendiamkan pasangan, sibuk sendiri, sampai diajak ngomong dan dihibur dulu. 27) is providing for the home a sole or shared responsibility? 28) would you allow your wife to work? 29) who are yorur friends? who you follow on instagram/social media apps? 30) what are the things that you can't condone from your spouse and may/would lead to immediate request for the termination of the marriage contract? financial infidelity (debt/investasi bodong dengan hutang ratusan juta), romantic infidelity that leads to STD, domestic violences both verbal and physical, melanggar perjanjian pranikah.

Health, wealth, relationships, and happiness are markets that hold the unconscious, subconscious, or conscious goals of every human being.

Business is about solving survival and status problems.

Make your goals conscious, solve your own problems, and distribute your lessons.

dua hal yang aku pelajari, satu hal yang aku sums up til today.

#1 semua orang butuh makan, maka makanan ngga ada matinya. #2 semua orang masih pakai baju, maka selama itu pula rezeki akan selalu ada. #3 setiap orang berhubungan dengan orang lain, selama itu pula akan ada bisnis untuk menjadi konsultan. tapi yang ini, butuh expertise panjang, jatuh bangun.

on a complex feeling called shame. i mean, i am not ashamed of not having stability 9-5 job. nor i am ashamed of dressing uncommon in this society. i am ashamed that i would be nobody. i am ashamed that i would be going nowhere. this type of society really favor me in one shape and another, but... i still have the internal monologue, quite masculine-istic, that i couldn't make my parents happy for this time. i mean, not that in the matter that i am disappointing them, but in the form that: aku tidak bisa memberangkatkan mereka untuk umroh saat ini in my productive years.

i mean, i have burdened myself with the very things that i don't even know where the middle ground is. i don't know how to, i don't know where to tell about this dream. i surely hanging out with a lot of older peeps, yes i am wiser everyday because of Allah's guidance through them actually. but the truth can't be tamed: that i feel i progressively behind because mereka semua sudah umroh, mereka ada yang sudah haji, mereka ada yang punya anak banyak, cucu, bisnis a b c. i know itu semua perhiasan dunia, harta dan anak-anak adalah perhiasan dunia, but i want what they have. aku tahu apa yang ada di sisi Allah itu lebih besar ganjarannya, tapi, apa yang mereka punya itu juga sebagai sarana/fasilitas/freedom of choice untuk beribadah dan berkarya, mengabdi lebih baik lagi in my humble assumptions.

i feel like the shame feeling kicks in the second time. that i can not be enough like my peers i was standing to. the first shame, adalah saat aku tidak mengerti dan tidak paham dengan pelajaran matematika wajib by Pak Husein and that trauma of teacher-bullying is really vivid. i was behind from my peers but knowing that i passed Universitas Indonesia made me blessed and feel grateful every single time for Allah's favor.

cita-cita memang harus tinggi, proposal hidup harus jelas dan terarah, menjalani keseharian harus jujur, namun bagaimana untuk menghadapi setbacks and knowing that i need to spare myself for mercy? i need mercy from Allah and i gave mercy with whomever i encountered with insya Allah. but for myself... i can't afford it a single sheet of self-compassion about this particular feeling.

i feel like i'm not enough of Allah's great blessing and that's one of devil's trap obviously to keep me in the loop of sadness.

i need to see them (people who are ahead of me as two roles: rolemodels and mentors) that's it. maybe that's a little bandaid for my wet wounds called shame.

the sickest thing about mid eastern is that the people really protective about their online presence. faceless, randomized characters in their @ wherever you find, not associating with any organization in their personal acc, and full of daily adkhar reminder in their profiles. i guess the evil eye is real dan mungkin disana lebih kenceng since medium-nya juga lebih advanced disana?

not to mention aku juga kan pernah difollow akun yang AKU PIKIR sharing daily Quranic verse ya aman lah. eh TERNYATA verse-nya itu diputer-puter, ditambah jampi-jampi, khususnya (seingetku ya nauzubillah) buat bikin retak rumah tangga orang. kapok ga belajar bener2. emang betul ya kalau orang naif ga punya ilmunya gampang banget diacak2.

the game isn't physical. it's spiritual.