God, I don't know how to operate anymore. I am operating under the rate of disguise and shame out of myself. My rate of trying and trying need to exceed my rate of self destruction and what else? I yearn for a complete and simple life. I don't know how and who and when I get it.
Where do I need to tie my worth? Everything is like building from scratch, everytime for a possible humanly possible and why? I don't know. I don't know about myself and anything. I don't know...