5-months check in with saboteur.
a good website Syifa told me is positive intelligence, talking about saboteur I think. kali ini, aku mau menulis secara objektif dan faktual by-data nya yaa.
3 Maret 2024
restless 8.1 hyper-rational 6.9 controller 6.9 victim 5.6 hyper-achiever 4.4 stickler 3.8 avoider 3.8 hyper-vigilant 2.5 pleaser 1.3
9 Agustus 2024
hyper-rational 8.8↑ controller 8.1↑ restless 5.6↓ hyper-achiever 5.6↑ stickler 1.9↓ victim 1.3↓ avoider 1.3↓ pleaser 0.6↓ hyper-vigilant 0↓
it's f-ing results that I REALLY EXPECTED because for the past 3 MONTHS I've been through thick and thin with Allah and myself alone <3 and this is the real standard of me, without any influences of other people, primarily a partner. im not pleaser by any means possible. not vigilant/eggshells walker anymore. it's big ZERO on the last category. victim and avoider are also decrease almost 2~3 times, meaning that I face the f-ed situation it is what it is karena Allah-lah yang bantu semuanya sampai aku se-idgaf ini. aku pikir aku sudah di tahap idgaf maxxxximal itu di Maret kemarin, tapi ternyata, ini sekarang level idgaf-ku. kalau bisa Desember aku re-take lagi, pleaser, hyper-vigilant, stickler, victimnya 0 besar aja semua.
alhamdulillaah, kadar restlessku turun drastis because i look forward to good quality of sleep, and look forward with the next day🎀 karena Allah-lah semua karunia ini ada dan aku bisa merasakan hidup sebenar-benarnya hidup to the maxxxxxx. alhamdulillaah.